I don’t need all your good advice: Part 1

A  longer short story about a teenager still learning how to navigate tricky situations, the price of loyalty to the unworthy, and the demands of any relationship.

Some swearing.

As always constructive criticism, feedback or even a note to say hi is welcomed!

I gaped.

Sara gaped, gazing from her hand to the face of the girl she had just slapped. Some of the customers still chatted away to the Andy’s Legipops staff, unaware of the drama over by the door.

I could not believe it. I don’t think Sara did either. We had barely opened the door, and I was wondering why she had stopped, when I heard the slap and saw the reddened face the short girl Sara had attacked.

Though my brain processes had hung and sent a crash report, Sara’s victim was already moving.

“Bitch!” Now the other customers noticed.

One of the Legipops attendants leapt the counter, like he’d been practising, excusing himself as he scattered the other, less violent, patrons.

My reset brain had time to allow that this was one cool ice-cream purveyor, while mainly focusing on the task of moving myself, and a struggling bundle of best friend, to safety. Maths geometry was failing me; the milling of irritated, concerned people clientele wasn’t helping, though eventually the Legipops attendant did, sending us stumbling into the car-park with a generous shove. Well, I stumbled into the car park. Sara had collected one of the cute, café chairs as she went.

“No fights!“

“What’s your problem, Sara!“ The girl had followed us out.

“You!“ Sarah untangling from the chairs transformed into a whirl of flying hands, hair and profanities.

Since when does Sara assault people?

Neither girl was holding back. People pressed against the glass of the nearby shops to watch while scruffy teens began wandering over from the convenience store’s car park, to gather in a haphazard circle around us. It wouldn’t be long until they stopped treating us like TV, and more like a Wii game.

The girl got the upper hand though, with Sara’s hair twisted around it.

“You stupid whore!“ Sara screamed, “Let go of me! I’m finished with you, Jo!“

“Are you? I’m so sick of this! When will you drop it, Sara?“

“I didn’t start this! “

Jo shoved Sara again into the abused tables and chairs, and walked away. Frantic people inside the shop screamed, and a fleet of police and emergency services were no doubt on their way.

We’re just kids. I was unable to absorb the scene I was part of. Not juvenile delinquents. Not razor-blade carrying attackers. We just wanted some ice cream.

Banned, possibly for life, from Andy’s Legipops, we slunk back to our usual nook, in the graffiti etched space behind the shopping centre’s vending machines.

“Fucking bitch.“

“What was that all about, Sara?“

“Old shit. Old, old mean stuff. And some newer stuff. Maaaan,“ She sighed the sound out long and hard, “Just when I start to get over it, it all bubbles up again. You know the school I was at before, she and I went there. We were tight, used to hang out, study together, until we both failed a maths test. Our study notes were wrong! No one’s fault, we both do badly, but she gets pissed at me for it. Next exam, she does well, and gets caught out cheating. So she blames me, and they believed it. We both got kicked out, but not before I get treated like shit by the teachers, and like a bitch who betrayed her friend by the rest of the group. By the end, I was glad I left. “


Why do words always fail at such moments? We sat in silence, while a full, bright moon made the shadows in our hole darker.

“I want to take her out so badly, make her pay.“

“Seriously? What’s the point? Do you feel better now that you’ve punched her in the face, and put us on police radar? “

“Don’t try and tell me that was your first fight. Your brother is in jail, right?“

Ouch. Is this what giving confidence means? Providing special individuals the information they need to score points in arguments?

“Mark sold weed out of his room, not gang warfare! I’ll ask him how jail is for you though, because that’s where people go when they want to take other people out. Just get over it already.“

“Whatever. I don’t need a lecture, and I don’t need all of your good advice.“

Read Part 2

10 thoughts on “I don’t need all your good advice: Part 1

  1. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 2 | Vivid Hunter

  2. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 3 | Vivid Hunter

  3. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 4 | Vivid Hunter

  4. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 5 | Vivid Hunter

  5. Pingback: I Don’t Need All You Good Advice Part 6 | Vivid Hunter

  6. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 7 | Vivid Hunter

  7. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice Part 8 | Vivid Hunter

  8. Pingback: I Don’t Need All Your Good Advice: Final | Vivid Hunter

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